1 Sept. 2008 Living with adult children, Children. Youth and Women's Health Service. Cyh.com.
In this article it talks about why young adults don't leave home or why they come back. They usually don't leave if they have a good relationship at home, the parents are ok with it, and if they can feel just enough independence but also security by staying. They usually come back because of some kind of crises, which has them often return in a rough emotional state, which can effect how they get along with the family and add extra stress to the parents. It discusses the impact it has on parents since they now have to readjust again from having the child gone to having them back again. Sometimes parents can feel angry and resentful but sometimes they try to look at it as a way to gain more as an adult relationship with their child. They article mentions many things you can do to make it work like making clear conditions and expectations on rent, chores, cooking, laundry, transportation, friends coming over, quiet hour, and what is accepted in how they treat each other. The article explains how they need to treat the child like any other adult rather than their own child now. The kids now have rights to make choices as an adult rather than a child like clothing choices, friends, and money but the parents have to give them some amount of freedom on that but also decide what they are comfortable with. It even talks directly how the parent should deal with sex, and whether or not they want to accept that in your home, as well as drinking, smoking, and drugs. It counsels to talk this all out, maybe with a counselor first, and then even writing it all out with your child before any contention occurs.
There aren't any exact quotes to use but I will use a lot of the general info to state my claim.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Student Choice:Thesis
My thesis is:
Adultolescence in America is an issue because it prevents adult children from learning imperative characteristics for a contributing citizen like responsibility, hard work, and independence. It also hinders parents ability to prepare financially for retirement and begin a new phase in their relationship, as well as putting strains on family relationships by changing the definition of a parent to the kids landlord or housemaid.
Adultolescence in America is an issue because it prevents adult children from learning imperative characteristics for a contributing citizen like responsibility, hard work, and independence. It also hinders parents ability to prepare financially for retirement and begin a new phase in their relationship, as well as putting strains on family relationships by changing the definition of a parent to the kids landlord or housemaid.
Student Choice-Describing Audience
Audience:
My focused audience will be parents who are either living in a situation with adult children or who are being faced with this decision, and also adultolescents who are living at home or thinking about going back.
Things I need to be aware of is that the parents value their relationships with their children and may be in a situation where they want to do this to help the relationship grow in more of an adult, mature manner. They also might enjoy the company or financial contribution if any is being made, so they may disagree with me. However, these parents that value relationships with their children, also would value their children being good people so if I can persuade them that the kids would learn those things better if they were away from home at this age then maybe they can see my point without offending them.
The kids reading this may just be in a tight spot in life and feel this is the only choice for them right now. They also may value relationships with their family but I doubt that is their main concern. I think most kids who are in this situation mainly value their own selfish habits and may not want to do anything that could make them have to change their comfortable way of living so they may not want to have to face what I have to say, but it might open their eyes to look past the selfishness.
My focused audience will be parents who are either living in a situation with adult children or who are being faced with this decision, and also adultolescents who are living at home or thinking about going back.
Things I need to be aware of is that the parents value their relationships with their children and may be in a situation where they want to do this to help the relationship grow in more of an adult, mature manner. They also might enjoy the company or financial contribution if any is being made, so they may disagree with me. However, these parents that value relationships with their children, also would value their children being good people so if I can persuade them that the kids would learn those things better if they were away from home at this age then maybe they can see my point without offending them.
The kids reading this may just be in a tight spot in life and feel this is the only choice for them right now. They also may value relationships with their family but I doubt that is their main concern. I think most kids who are in this situation mainly value their own selfish habits and may not want to do anything that could make them have to change their comfortable way of living so they may not want to have to face what I have to say, but it might open their eyes to look past the selfishness.
Monday, November 9, 2009
Annotated Bibliography 2
Hely, Susan (August 2008) What to do when your adult kids won't move out. Money Magazine. ninemsn.com
This article talks about how adult kids moving back home is a problem and why. It gives statistics, ages, example of how the age for men and women to get married is higher now than in 1981, and even examples of an overall average of how much more money parents spend per week to have their kids at home. It explains why this affects the parents retirement which is much closer of a time then the kids. It gives an example of a TV show called "The Nest" which gives 3 examples of families who have adult children living with them and the problems it imposes. Even the parents sometimes feel like house slaves since they don't dare ask their kids to do much now. He talks about how most baby-boomer parents of this situation had to start independently on their own and worked to have the lifestyle they have now so the kids also should do that.
Interesting quotes are the meaning of the new word "KIPPERS.It stands for kids in parents’ pockets eroding retirement savings."
"As well, living at home encourages a selfishness that grows and eventually they will become really bad partners and employees," says Dr Dina McMillan, a social psychologist
I will use these quotes to show how this effects the parents retirement and how it hinders children by encouraging them to become selfish.
This article talks about how adult kids moving back home is a problem and why. It gives statistics, ages, example of how the age for men and women to get married is higher now than in 1981, and even examples of an overall average of how much more money parents spend per week to have their kids at home. It explains why this affects the parents retirement which is much closer of a time then the kids. It gives an example of a TV show called "The Nest" which gives 3 examples of families who have adult children living with them and the problems it imposes. Even the parents sometimes feel like house slaves since they don't dare ask their kids to do much now. He talks about how most baby-boomer parents of this situation had to start independently on their own and worked to have the lifestyle they have now so the kids also should do that.
Interesting quotes are the meaning of the new word "KIPPERS.It stands for kids in parents’ pockets eroding retirement savings."
"As well, living at home encourages a selfishness that grows and eventually they will become really bad partners and employees," says Dr Dina McMillan, a social psychologist
I will use these quotes to show how this effects the parents retirement and how it hinders children by encouraging them to become selfish.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Annotated Bibliography 1
Chatzky, Jean(Dec. 19 2006). Your Adult Kids are Back. Now What? CNNMoney.com
In this article Ms. Chatzky talks about how parents usually think their job is done after their kids are done with college but the reality is 65% of kids are moving back home with their parents after they graduate. She talks about the reasons of why this could be happening like the average debt a student has is $20,000 in student loans and $4000 in credit card debt. On top of that, rent has gone way up and starting salaries have dropped 17%. She goes on to explain how parents can help their children get through this stage and be standing on their own two feet when they are done. She talks about the two types of Adultolescence, one being when you see it coming because maybe their salary just won't cut it and you plan for them to come back for awhile to help them out, and the other where they are out on their own but aren't making it and want to move home. If they coming home she teaches to make them pay rent. A normal adult averages paying 35% of their income to housing so to cut that in half for them to pay you, and use the rest to start saving for their exit plan. If they are out on their own, you should help encourage them to stay there to build their self esteem. You can give them a gift of money, or give them a loan and set it up like a bank would. Trying to treat them as much like adults as possible as you help will be a win-win situation. She stresses the fact of the importance of helping them make sure they have health insurance as well. Also if your child is spending a lot or driving a nicer car then you, it's time for them to leave.
How do you know that your days of bailing out your kids should come to an end? Ask yourself a few questions, suggests Furman. "Are they working hard? Are they progressing in terms of saving toward their exit goal? If the answers are yes, you're doing the right thing, and full independence will likely come about on its own. But if you see that your kid is coasting and not saving a dime, your contribution might be crippling him. You may want to push him out early."
This Quote could be a good conclusion maybe?
In this article Ms. Chatzky talks about how parents usually think their job is done after their kids are done with college but the reality is 65% of kids are moving back home with their parents after they graduate. She talks about the reasons of why this could be happening like the average debt a student has is $20,000 in student loans and $4000 in credit card debt. On top of that, rent has gone way up and starting salaries have dropped 17%. She goes on to explain how parents can help their children get through this stage and be standing on their own two feet when they are done. She talks about the two types of Adultolescence, one being when you see it coming because maybe their salary just won't cut it and you plan for them to come back for awhile to help them out, and the other where they are out on their own but aren't making it and want to move home. If they coming home she teaches to make them pay rent. A normal adult averages paying 35% of their income to housing so to cut that in half for them to pay you, and use the rest to start saving for their exit plan. If they are out on their own, you should help encourage them to stay there to build their self esteem. You can give them a gift of money, or give them a loan and set it up like a bank would. Trying to treat them as much like adults as possible as you help will be a win-win situation. She stresses the fact of the importance of helping them make sure they have health insurance as well. Also if your child is spending a lot or driving a nicer car then you, it's time for them to leave.
How do you know that your days of bailing out your kids should come to an end? Ask yourself a few questions, suggests Furman. "Are they working hard? Are they progressing in terms of saving toward their exit goal? If the answers are yes, you're doing the right thing, and full independence will likely come about on its own. But if you see that your kid is coasting and not saving a dime, your contribution might be crippling him. You may want to push him out early."
This Quote could be a good conclusion maybe?
Research Guide
1-I already know that this is a growing trend in today's society that seems to be putting stress on parents.
2-My assumptions are that I think that kids are not being as responsible as they once were or a responsible as our society needs, so my position is that we need to encourage them to take the dive out of the nest and not depend on mommy and daddy anymore. This is how most of us do it and we all survive, gaining a lot of growth in the process. We need a stronger generation.
3-My questions about the issue are what percentage of parents really mind having them there, and what ones actually enjoy having them back. Also, does living with their parents really prevent them from eventually gaining responsibility or do they still end up being well rounded, contributing adults.
4-Others interested in this issue are kids thinking about moving back home, parents who are faced with this decision, and maybe employers of kids living with their parents. It may show something about their work ethic.
5-People hear, read, or talk about this issue in the newspapers or news, or hear about if from others who are experiencing this issue. We don't hear a lot about it yet, but probably will as time goes on.
6-I think parents and kids are at stake here, as well as our society. They could all suffer from our next generation not stepping up to the plate and being adults. Our future is in the their hands. However, maybe it makes it so kids keep from living on their own and partying, and makes them learn more things from their parents about adult life. Maybe they would be better citizens from being more mature as they live with and learn from their parents. I do think grandchildren could benefit because they would have extra love from more people in their life. Maybe the young moms wouldn't suffer as much from depression because they have a little help and company from their family while their husband is often gone a lot at this beginning stage of a career.
7-I think we are still defining whether this is a real problem or not in this society. In other cultures they do this often, are actually encouraged to live with and take care of parents and it seems to work for them. Does that mean it works in this nation? I'm not sure yet.
8-There are quite a few articles on the internet. I know a primary source I can use and a book as well.
9-Yes, My husband has a co-worker who has been complaining how his mother-n law getting taken advantage of by her children that have moved in with her so I thought I could interview him...maybe the mother too?
10-I plan to have all my research done by next thursday so I can start compiling and putting together the outline.
2-My assumptions are that I think that kids are not being as responsible as they once were or a responsible as our society needs, so my position is that we need to encourage them to take the dive out of the nest and not depend on mommy and daddy anymore. This is how most of us do it and we all survive, gaining a lot of growth in the process. We need a stronger generation.
3-My questions about the issue are what percentage of parents really mind having them there, and what ones actually enjoy having them back. Also, does living with their parents really prevent them from eventually gaining responsibility or do they still end up being well rounded, contributing adults.
4-Others interested in this issue are kids thinking about moving back home, parents who are faced with this decision, and maybe employers of kids living with their parents. It may show something about their work ethic.
5-People hear, read, or talk about this issue in the newspapers or news, or hear about if from others who are experiencing this issue. We don't hear a lot about it yet, but probably will as time goes on.
6-I think parents and kids are at stake here, as well as our society. They could all suffer from our next generation not stepping up to the plate and being adults. Our future is in the their hands. However, maybe it makes it so kids keep from living on their own and partying, and makes them learn more things from their parents about adult life. Maybe they would be better citizens from being more mature as they live with and learn from their parents. I do think grandchildren could benefit because they would have extra love from more people in their life. Maybe the young moms wouldn't suffer as much from depression because they have a little help and company from their family while their husband is often gone a lot at this beginning stage of a career.
7-I think we are still defining whether this is a real problem or not in this society. In other cultures they do this often, are actually encouraged to live with and take care of parents and it seems to work for them. Does that mean it works in this nation? I'm not sure yet.
8-There are quite a few articles on the internet. I know a primary source I can use and a book as well.
9-Yes, My husband has a co-worker who has been complaining how his mother-n law getting taken advantage of by her children that have moved in with her so I thought I could interview him...maybe the mother too?
10-I plan to have all my research done by next thursday so I can start compiling and putting together the outline.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
SLCC Database and Delicious Tutorials Summary
From the library research tutorials I learned how to navigate thru the databases of articles to help research for my papers thru EBSCO. It's really nice to be able to search for publications and have the options for all the different search criteria.
From the Delicious tutorial I learned how helpful it will be as I am researching to be able to not only bookmark them but organize them into specific categories. This will also be helpful for any information I am interested in and want to keep track of, not just info on my research paper. It is also a great thing to be able to share what you are putting together with others, and benefit from what others research as well.
From the Delicious tutorial I learned how helpful it will be as I am researching to be able to not only bookmark them but organize them into specific categories. This will also be helpful for any information I am interested in and want to keep track of, not just info on my research paper. It is also a great thing to be able to share what you are putting together with others, and benefit from what others research as well.
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